I am an idiot walking through a Divine world.
How is it that the world around me
has suddenly become so beautiful?
So full of Soul and Life?
I don’t know.
I never knew.
The grace of the Gods makes my heart break.
Did I know that They were tinkering away
for my vitality,
years before I even asked or knew what I wanted?
Suddenly, the magnitude of all Their small graces
hits me full on
like a train of blooming flowers softly denting me.
They knew without me knowing.
They were there for me years before I asked.
The magnitude of the World’s grace is overwhelming.
The realization burns in my heart like bittersweet honey.
I cry in joy and I weep, helpless, gasping for air.
What They’ve orchestrated is so custom-made, it’s ridiculous!
When the Universe comes knocking,
We pull out the shiny red car from the old garage
We put streamers and bells and whistles on it.
We move over to the passenger seat,
And with a big, relieved grin, we say,
“Baby, you drive!”
Ai, Ai, Keshava!
Where are you dancing?
Why do I feel like I’ve never danced?
Why do I want this one thing,
But do something else?
I got lost in my mind.
I buried myself in books.
My mind exploded, but
The seed of my heart didn’t grow.
Don’t be coy, Keshava.
Don’t smile and hide for my benefit.
My Soul grows so weary of my young ego.
So don’t torture me with your hide-and-seek game anymore.
Ai, Ai, Keshava!
I’m burning up with need.
I’ve had enough of chasing you,
And getting easily distracted.
Now is the time for my devotion.
To find you in the World,
I open up myself.
I don’t have long—
Only one lifetime.
So Dear One, please,
Help me make it good!
*Keshava is a name for Krishna, a god of the heart and embodied, loving, passionate life.
We all wanted someone like him,
Someone whose shoulder we could sit on
And know he’d never let us fall.
We all wanted to know
That everything was always okay
Even when it hurt so much
When we found ourselves stunned into tears and silence.
When you were young,
Your innocent eyes looked for him,
Only saw a glimpse of his feet passing by,
On the brown dirt road outside your door.
You missed him,
Knew what you needed.
As you looked for him, the ones you looked to
Were looking for him, too!
Dear One, now that you are grown,
I’ll let fall from my lips to your ear
a sweet secret I love to tell.
The One you searched for?
He is inside!
He is inside the Whole World!