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An Idiot in a Divine World

I am an idiot walking through a Divine world.

How is it that the world around me
has suddenly become so beautiful?
So full of Soul and Life?

I don’t know.
I never knew.

The grace of the Gods makes my heart break.
Did I know that They were tinkering away
for my vitality,
years before I even asked or knew what I wanted?
No!

Suddenly, the magnitude of all Their small graces
hits me full on
like a train of blooming flowers softly denting me.

They knew without me knowing.
They were there for me years before I asked.

The magnitude of the World’s grace is overwhelming.
The realization burns in my heart like bittersweet honey.
I cry in joy and I weep, helpless, gasping for air.

What They’ve orchestrated is so custom-made, it’s ridiculous!

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Shams and Jalal’udin

We talk for hours into the night.
A lotus candle burns.
Who is Shams?
And who is Jalal’udin?

Neither!

We are both the Beloved One.

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God’s Been Harassing Me

God’s been harassing me lately.
He plays tricks with my mind.
I see people who aren’t really there.

The Cheeky Bastard has suddenly
gone beyond cheeky.

He’s been heckling me,
walking around with a
wily, knowing smile on his face
and the gleam of stars in his eyes.

And he’s been going around like
a lawless, wild bastard,
smoking, what, ganja?
Rolling around the known world with his
disheveled self and his messy cahoots.

Been showing me crazy shit,
and speaking truths my self of yesterday
would have thought were heresy.

Ai! Bhairav!
Let’s get on with this destruction,
shall we?

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Surrender to the Silk

Surrender,
Surrender,
Surrender,
the Joy requires this again and again
like a gently revolving wooden spoked wheel.

It’s never a surrender to anyone out there.
Don’t ever give yourself in to objects and men.

No.

It’s a surrender
to the silks
to the veils
to your human nature.
To pleasure
and to ease.

Yes.

We don’t have to fight it inside any longer!

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Dwara Bhairav

I sit still on the side of a dusty street, full of people passing.
I am neither woman nor man.
I am neither young nor old.

On my forehead is the three line ash marks,
On my arms, too.
I am waiting for Bhairav.

I am waiting for all the old lines and bondages to dissolve.
I am waiting for the guard of the boundaries to open the door.
When the mind is ready,
The Dharmapala becomes the Dwara,
The Guard of the Field becomes the Door-Opener.

This is scaring me, yet
I’m waiting.

Let Distinction die!
Let knowledge die!

And what of fear?
Bhairav knows.
World Shaker.
World Turner.

No one needs protection in the world of Bhairav!
He doesn’t come to scare!
He comes to churn and tear tiny old weaves apart.

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Who am I, Lalla?
You’ve been fooling me,
making me think
I was a small self.

You let me have all these problems, Scoundrel!
Just a pinhole lens!
Thanks for letting me know I’m human, Friend.

What ground is there
when I don’t latch onto problems anymore?
What is there to hold onto, Lalla?

Your peace is scaring me,
drawing me out of myself.
Your wide continent is too new.
You’re making my heart shake, Lalla!

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Kashi’s Kotwal

He comes to my door,
Begging for rice.
He’s a liar.
He’s no beggar!

Red skin, black hair wild
in unbound jata,
he proffers a wooden bowl to me
in his paw of a hand
with sharp black nails,
like a bashful child.

He’s a liar.
He’s no beggar.
He’s not bashful.
Bhayankara Bhairav, he is.

“Tell me the truth, Graveyard Dancer!” I demand.

He is
The Fearsome One who Turns the World
Upside Down.
The Breaker of Boundaries.
The Defiler of Concept.

His eyes turn to me.
He knows I am afraid of the future I see.

The little gold bells around his waist jingle,
I see his golden thread hiding in dust.
He says, “Everything is alright, ma’am.”
Jesus, what a voice!
Inaudible undertones that could tear apart Danavlok,
But here, now, in my house for the first time,
He’s being endearingly soft-spoken.

I ask him what he wants.
He doesn’t want me to go with him.
He doesn’t want to come in.
What does Bhairav want?

And is he really just Kashi’s Kotwal?
Hell no!
That paper tiger job
is a red herring for his real post with Bhairavi
at the center of the divided world,
and on the edge in the eight directions.
His entourage of ghosts and spirits dances with him,
Smoking the ganja and laughing like fools
in the enjoyment of boundless freedom!

Here’s the secret to his fearsome form:
Bhairav’s work is never external, out there!
His roar shatters worlds of mind.
He decries fear!
The whole universe is infinite subject,
The Divine Experiencer Itself!
Aham Idam!

He doesn’t want me to go with him.
He doesn’t want to come in.
What does Bhairav want?

He wants me to be him.

Oh, hell no!
My small self says this is insane!
But I’m a sucker,
I’m still game.

So! He says,
Never, never let your mind entice you
To the false security of objectivity–that self-made prison.

Become.
Me.

Bhayankara Bhairav is your inside track
to the death of fear itself,
and the birth of your sahaja anand!

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